House-Cleaning

Dear Loyal Readers,

As you know, certain changes are happening around here, and it may be a while before more pictures can be posted. In the meantime, check out this new blog - my new turtle-dawg. And don't forget my special guest appearance at the Lyrical Gangster. Please ignore my "bodyguard" - he's just some hobo who goes through my garbage looking for wine-soaked scraps for his insatiable wino-addiction. Go home, hippie!

Blast From the Past - Pars Duo

Why are all these boxes lying around the house?
Anyway, here's a picture of me from my "old man," Godfather-esque phase.
"Hey, I'll make you an offer you can't refuse -
change my poopy diapers and feed me at my whim,
and I'll allow you to worship me."

Oh no, it's the cops!
If only my fingers were big enough to use this Tommy Gun,
you'd be history, pig!

Blast From the Past

Dear Readers,
Thanks to upcoming changes, my parents/slaves
have been less than vigilant about photographing my exploits.
*Sigh* It's impossible to get good help nowadays.
Anywho, here's a picture from my young, carefree days -
when I slept 20 hours a day,
and nothing was more terrifying than a tiny pumpkin.

Biscuits Are A Girl's Best Friend

What? You've never covered yourself in slobber chowing down on a maple biscuit?

You haven't lived, my friend . . .

My First Biscuit

And I have already learned...

never let go!

The Consolation of Sacagawea's Philosophy

My first bath: a horrific experience.
The depths of human suffering spread out before me.
I recognized I would find little succor in this bitter northern land.

As I grew older, I learned to content myself with philosophy.
What is "Duckiness"?

Oh Ducky, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
1) I can suck you.
2) I can bang you into things.
3) I can drop you from great heights.
4) I can contort you into awkward positions.